"What Is the News?"

 Written in 2008 as kind of a prediction of what would happen 2012... 


 What is the news?   Its Interesting the way local news has evolved into, "Who can beat the other TV stations in describing the blood and gore on the streets?" The more horror the better. They describe that the man was shot in the chest 4 times and was killed instantly. Then the camera pans to the street to show the blood and police tape...Do we really care what happens in the city to the drug dealers? I don't know about you but I don't. Then there is the "Caught on video on a security camera." They will run this "over and over" with the warning "may not be suitable for children." Then they show a man being hit by a car and thrown over the hood with his limp, rag doll body hitting the street. The driver then speeds away never to seen again. My personal favorite is the man or woman hit by a train then showing the blood and brain matter on the tracks. Then there are rapes and child molesters. The corrupt officials who hide there faces in a perp walk or are caught in a men's room looking for sex. The future leaders who cheat on their wives. The male coach who is accused of inappropriately touching a teen girl in school or of setting up a video camera in a girls locker room. I really enjoy the hot blond, female teacher who had sex with her 15 year student. Oh, how I envy him. You can be sure mom told on that one......Oops, lets not forget the commercial telling the audience to take anti-depressant's or a pill to loose weight. I especially love the commercials with the loud obnoxious moron yelling at you to buy a car and lets not forget the bastard singing a stupid song about his package store. Now back to the news...A crack head breaks into senior housing to steal money and kills the 88 year old woman after he has raped her. We must not forget the gang assholes who light a homeless man on fire while he was sleeping then rob a convenience store only to kill the clerk who I might add was working 3 jobs so his son could go to medical school. Now for the weather update. Rain and floods in the Midwest causing 28 children to drown in a school bus. Driver tried to drive across a flooded street only to be swept by the currant into a river. The driver survived trying to save children. I think that driver might as well have died along with the kids by the time they are done with him....Now the Local weather. Lighting strikes pregnant woman and kills her. Then, with that "idiot smile" on his face the weather man says "Back to the news. A man drills a hole in the head of his dog because the dog wouldn't listen. Woman arrested for having too many stray cats, Neighbor complained. You know the neighbor, the one with his to big baseball hat on sideways with all the gold chains who speaks that black street talk. "ITS THE DRUG DEALER THAT SHOT THE MAN 4 TIMES" I scream at the TV but they can't hear me... They show the poor lady crying as the animal control puts the cats she saved in the little kennels. Now the human interest story....Man has a prayer memorial for his wife and 2 daughters who were raped and murdered in their home during a home invasion. The two suspects were released from prison 2 weeks earlier because of over crowding. They show where the home was and it was leveled and it is a lawn now with a plaque with the names of his wife and daughters. The two men are now on death row with no hope of release. The Governor of Connecticut just abolished the Death penalty. Will these two killers have any hope of not being given the needle...Stay tuned... The worst part of all this is, all this is true.......Time for Letterman........