“I Could Have Been a Rock Star”

 If I knew, just some of what I know now when I was a young man I would have become a Rock Star…Wait, don’t say anything yet or “Jump to conclusions.” Dad used to say that last part… I did play the electric guitar for a while when I was in my late teens and early 20s. I started to get good until I had finger problems. I had and still have Raynaud's Disease, a circulatory problem and because of ulcerated finger tips I had to stop playing. Two major operations, two weeks in intensive care, two months in the hospital and a year later my disease was under control but I couldn’t play anymore. My finger tips were healing and very tender. The calluses were gone. I was afraid if I tried, the finger problem would return and I didn’t want to go through all that hospital stuff again or risk losing a finger or two…These days I always enjoy thinking that if I threw caution to the wind, made different decisions and worked really hard at overcoming the finger problems I could have been a success at playing with a band. I did have two friends who were singer musicians and they had hit records. If I only put myself in the right place with these guys at the right time and really had the guts and determination to pursue this line of work. I mean it would have been a job after all. I think and I am almost sure I could have played for a major Rock Band. Today when I hear the lead guitar for Guns N’ Roses, Journey, The Stones or of the any the big name groups from a few years ago. I get goose bumps. I know the cords and beat, the strumming technique and the timing. I can feel the energy of the crowd. I can actually feel myself playing lead or back up guitar with the crowd roaring…Its like I’m there…. Its an unbelievable feeling… I could cry when I think of what I could have done if I stayed healthy…..

Comment ....I wrote this piece on September 3, 2011 for LiveJournal and reread it just the other day. Yesterday morning I was talking to someone about what they call "a series of events". Like what would I be doing now if I did this or that. What if I made the decision to talk to someone or not talk to someone..What happens when I make the decision not to go somewhere or to go somewhere..Like the right choices or the wrong choices...Each decision we make through out our lives could change the coarse of our lives...Knowingly or unknowingly we could, without the proper guidance, "live or die"...Well, I guess I made the right decisions, some questionable but for the most part the right choices through out my life....But what if I went in the other direction? What if one of my friends pulled some strings and I landed a job as a guitar player for a rock group. Where would I be today? Would drugs have taken over my life? We won't know that but what really prompted me to go in a different direction? I was just over (cured) of a serious illness but I was a defiant young man. Sort of a risk taker....Was it fate? What is fate? What was guiding me? Do you think my fate was predetermined? Through the years I have often wondered why I am still healthy and why I am really here.Today I no longer ask that question. I just go along in life with what ever is asked of me...I know,  I know you want a Dad quote...Lorenzo sometimes you have to just  "Grin and bear it"....