"Headlines of the Future"

   Some of this was written by me. I added a few of what I thought were interesting...The rest was sent to me in an E-Mail a long time ago…It’s a little tidbit about the future and some of the Newspaper headlines you might see...

The Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formally known as California.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally . . . Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

Former country of Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being over taken by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 179, Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.


George Q. Bush XIIII says he will run for President in 2081.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

Average weight of Americans drops to 287.50 lbs.

Congress finally completed an 85 year, $75.8 Trillion dollar study: Diet and Exercise are the keys to weight loss.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.  
( I did not write that! )

Massachusetts executes last remaining Conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights and bans all criminal trials.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January, 2052. Homeland Security Department will vigorously enforce this new law.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 78 percent.

And, last but certainly not the least,

Florida voters still don't know how to use a voting machine.

"Democratic Convention Schedule, July 25, 2016"

I did not write this I just wish I did.....
It was sent to me by a friend...


SAVE THE DATE!
Democratic Convention Schedule Monday, July 25, 2016

11:15 AM
Free lunch, medical marijuana, and bus ride to the Convention.
Forms distributed for Food Stamp enrollment.

1:30 PM
Group Voter Registration for Illegal Immigrants in room.

3:15 PM
Address on "Being the Real You".
Rachel Dolezal, former Head of the Seattle NAACP and Caitlyn Jenner

4:30 PM
Address - "How to Bank $200 Million as a public Servant and claim to be broke". -  Hillary Clinton

4:45 PM
Address - How to have a successful career without ever having a job, and still avoid paying taxes!
A Seminar Moderated by Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson.

 5:00 PM
Medals of Freedom presentation to Army deserter Bo Bergdahl for serving with Honor and Distinction. National Security Advisor Susan Rice

 5:30 PM
Invitation - only Autograph Session Souvenir photographs of Hillary and Chelsea dodging Sniper Fire in Bosnia.

 6:30 PM
General vote on praising Baltimore rioters, and on using the terminology "Alternative Shoppers" instead of "Looters".

7:30 PM
Breakout session with Bill Clinton for women on avoiding the upcoming draft.

8:30 PM
The White House "Semantics Committee" Meeting  General vote on re-branding "Muslim Terrorism" as "Random Acts of Islamic Over-Exuberance".

9:00 PM
"Liberal Bias in Media" and How we can make it work for you! Tutorial sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, PBS, The Washington Post and the New York Times With Guest Speaker, Brian Williams.

9:15 PM
Tribute Film to the Brave Freedom Fighters still incarcerated at GITMO. - Michael Moore

9:45 PM
Personal Finance Seminar - "Businesses Don't Create Jobs" - Hillary Clinton

 11:00 PM
Short film  -  "Setting Up Your Own Illegal Email Server While Serving in A Cabinet Post and How to Pretend It's No Big Deal. -  Hosted by Hillary Clinton

11:30 PM
Official Nomination of Hillary by Bill Maher and Chris Matthews....

"Overdose"

 "Show me a hero, and I'll write you a tragedy." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

On April 23, 1925 F. Scott Fitzgerald met Ernest Hemingway for the first time at the Dingo Bar in Paris. While the two writers initially hit it off, their friendship soon dissolved into bitter rivalry.  


 Comment ............. What is very disappointing to me are the writers, young performers and singers who die from drinking or drug overdoses. F. Scott Fitzgerald (The Great Gatsby) drank himself to death because he could not stop drinking. Earnest Hemingway put a shotgun in his mouth and pulled the trigger because he could not stop drinking.. Michael Jackson hired a doctor to shoot him up with drugs. The Doctor overdose him… How's that working out for you Michael? There will never be another singer like Whitney Huston who died of drowning in her bathtub because drug addiction. So did her daughter. Amy Winehouse drank herself to death. Elvis Presley died of a drug overdose.… How many more will die in 2016.. The waste is horrendous. I cry for these kids. All these gifted people are gone because of addiction. .. 

Here are a few more names. You may recognize some of them..    
          
Marilyn Monroe – Her death, due to an overdose of sleeping pills, was ruled as a “possible” suicide.
John Belushi – Died in 1982 after injecting a speed ball – a mixture of cocaine and heroin.
River Phoenix – Died of a heroin overdose while in the presence of his younger brother Joaquin in front of the trendy Viper Room.
Heath Ledger – Died of an accidental prescription pill overdose.
Christopher Pettiet – You know him as Zach, the budding chef in “Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead.” He died of an accidental overdose in 2000.
Mary Anissa Jones – Better known as Buffy from “Family Affair.” Drugs found in her system at the time of her death include Seconal, PCP, methaqualone and cocaine.
Lani O’Grady – You remember her as the brainy and practical Mary on “Eight is Enough,” Lani died in 2001 at the age of 46 of “drug intoxication.” Found in her system at the time of her death were Vicodin and Prozac.
Chris Farley – Overdosed in 1997 after taking a speed ball.
Judy Garland – Died in 1969 of an overdose of barbiturates.
Anna Nicole Smith – Died in 2007 of “combined drug intoxication.”              
Elvis Presley – Found dead in his bathroom in 1977 after overdosing on prescription drugs.
Rodney Harvey – On the verge of being taken very seriously as an actor, Harvey died of a heroin overdose in 1998.
Nick Adams – Died of a drug overdose in 1968.
Nick Cantor – The Dirty Dancing actor died after injecting a shot of pure heroin in 1991.
Montgomery Clift – Died in 1966 at the age of 45 – the combined effects of drugs and alcohol.
Dorothy Dandridge – Died at age 46 of an antidepressant overdose.
W.C. Fields – Died as the result of a shot liver due to excessive alcohol abuse.
Robert Pastorelli – The Murphy Brown actor died of a drug overdose in 2004 at the age of 50.
Dana Plato – Died of a drug overdose in 1999 after taking Vicodin and Vanadam.
Edie Sedgwick – Died in 1971 after mixing alcohol and barbiturates.
Brad Renfro – Died of a heroin overdose in 2008.


 Always keep in mind when you drink Alcohol or smoke cigarettes that life has an expiration date. -  12/5/2013 L.J Ferrari