“Sons at Christmas”

    I have three sons, but two sons that are, to say the least ignorant and disrespectful. Ignorant because they don’t realize that in the future they will wish they were better people and not so inconsiderate. Disrespectful because they know better and in the end will lose more than they could ever imagine. There were times when I was mad at my Dad but I never, ever treated him with disrespect. I know I’m not alone when it comes to stuff like this and I believe that every son disagrees with their father once and a while but never for long. It was later on in my life that I realized that my father had a special knowledge and wisdom. It was called ,“Age” and he set an example for me many ways just by knowing things. Someday I will write about his, “Suggestions” to me so my life would be a lot easier. I have tried everything possible to repair any damage, imaginary or real with my sons. What they are doing now is, "On them and not my problem anymore”. In the future, the guilt will be cold in their souls. They will never be unable to shed the torment they will feel. No one can turn back time to clear the mind, it never shuts down. The pain, will be there, at times disappearing for brief moments but never for too long. The pang of fear and paranoia will always lurk in background. It will never leave you when you have no one to say your sorry too. I have tried many times to be a Dad and a friend to them but from this point on I will not be a doormat or a fool anymore. Looking at those picture slides a while ago reminded me of all wonderful things my wife and I did with them. As new parents mistakes were made but I will not, nor have I ever dwelled on the negative things we may have done. Its up to them now to separate the good from the bad. Yes, that was the past but its what I remember from those peaceful times that keeps me warm….