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Saturday, March 29, 2014

Why did the chicken cross the road?

  I did not not write this.... It was sent to me from a friend...

This is only my opinion but I think it was to get to the other side. However I could be wrong so don't hold me to that...
Subject: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Barack Obama: "Let me be perfectly  clear: if the chickens like their eggs, they can keep their eggs. No chicken  will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period."  
John McCain: "My friends, the chicken  crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and  dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road."
Hillary Clinton: "What difference, at  this point, does it make why the chicken crossed the road?"
George W. Bush: "We don't really care  why the chicken crossed the road.  We just want to know if the chicken is  on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. "  
Dick Cheney: "Where's my gun?"  
Colin Powell: "Now, to the left of the  screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the  road."
Bill Clinton: "I did not cross the  road with that chicken."
Al Gore: "I invented the chicken."  
John Kerry: "Although I voted to let  the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to  cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now,  and I will remain against it."
Al Sharpton: "Why are all the chickens  white?"
Dr. Phil: "The problem we have here is  that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on  this side of the road before he goes after the problem on the other side of  the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by  not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems."  
Oprah: "Well, I understand that the  chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly.  So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which  is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can  just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the  chickens."
Anderson  Cooper: "We have reason  to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access  to the other side of the road."
Nancy Grace: "That chicken crossed the  road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks."  
Pat Buchanan: "To steal the job of a  decent, hardworking American."
Martha Stewart: "No one called me to  warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the  farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No  little bird gave me any insider information."
Dr. Seuss: "Did the chicken cross the  road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why  it crossed I've not been told."
Ernest Hemingway: "To die in the rain,  alone."
Grandpa: "In my day, we didn't ask why  the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road,  and that was good enough for us."
Barbara Walters: "Isn't that  interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for  the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of  molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road."  
Aristotle: "It is the nature of  chickens to cross the road."
John Lennon: "Imagine all the chickens  in the world crossing roads together, in peace."
Bill Gates: "I have just released  eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an  integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will  never reboot."
Albert Einstein: "Did the chicken  really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?"
Colonel Sanders: "Did I miss one?" 

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