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Wednesday, November 18, 2015

My Type of Woman

Recently I have had some relationship problems or as they say in 2008 (Issues)
I thought I would, once and for all tell every one the kind of woman I am looking for. OK, OK I know this is impossible but I dream can't I..........Before I start I will apologize because some of this text will sound like I am angry. I am not angry I am just being picky but in a way I am angry because I have been dating for the past year have not found a girl that fits into my life style. Did you notice I said girl not woman? I want a woman that acts like a girl not like a woman. A woman will understand. Got it? See what I mean it gets confusing to me too. I could blame past girl friends but its not their fault. I should blame them anyway after what they put me through but that’s life, live and learn. Some of you think I should let up on the past but believe me those woman deserve everything they get The nice part is I have control over what I write and I can spill the beans or not. Gosh, I love saying that "Spill the beans" but lets get back to business. I am a nice guy (Mom said so) and a changed man so I have been getting more picky as each day goes by. The best part is I don't care. I am happy the way I am but the title of this Blog should be "Relationships" so I will get to it. The most important thing is that she be HONEST and non smoker. She must be a girl between forty and forty-five years old with long hair, blond or brunette it does not matter. No cell phones. There is nothing worst than the cell phone trill in the middle of a conversation. Cell phones must be off or no cell phones. I WILL NOT compete with that. She must be athletic but short say around five-one or five-three and weigh about 110 pounds. She must be an avid book or book on CD reader. That’s nice when you have that in common. I want someone not afraid to wear a short skirt or a dress that looks sexy. I want someone that can keep up with me. I am an older guy and maybe I am having pipe dreams but I believe you are out there. At one point because I was lazy I went on line to E. Harmony and they actually sent me a picture of a white haired lady with a walker in the background. You can laugh if you want, those idiots were serious and I was angry. I DO NOT want someone who still cries when she talks about her ex husband, ex boyfriend, ex lover or any ex anything. I have been with woman who have said they still "feelings" for an ex something or other. I DO NOT want someone who has (THOSE) feelings for any ex anything’s. I have seen it all believe me. I DO NOT want a heavy woman or someone who won't wear shorts. This is true, I have seen that too. I have a thirty four waist and I work very hard at keeping that. I do not sit home and watch TV. I am very active and ride a bicycle five to ten miles a day rain or shine and I love it. In the winter I walk three to five miles a day or night depending how cold or bad the storm is. You must be attractive and willing to make love moments notice. I am looking for someone who can laugh so hard your sides hurt. You know what I mean.....You must like to take afternoon naps and snuggle while watching it rain or snow. I want a woman who is not afraid to tell me the way it is if she feels I deserve it. Ladies all this is not impossible You are out there! I will not go out or try anything else! When I see you I will know and so will you. I believe in desire at first sight. I know you know what I mean. I am not looking for a housekeeper or a cook. I am a good cook and would love to cook for you. I want a confidant, lover and someone who understands and will help me as I will help you. I like to laugh, smile and I am not afraid to cry .I just want to have fun. I don’t want to have to think of what to say or do. I don't mind working hard on a relationship as long as we work together. I like to sit around and not have to entertain you. No head games, no aggravation, just simple kindness. Am I dreaming? Maybe but all this is possible, that is who I am looking for. You know what I mean. I know you do. One look tells it all." A wink, a smile, that knowing look the one do then glance away. You look back quickly to see if I am looking. The look that says “Lets talk". I know, I know and you can laugh if you want But Miracles happen every day I know I can say that......

I hope you realize that I am only kidding but I had to write it down.......................

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