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Saturday, March 5, 2011

“Sentimental Music”

They say you remember certain lovers from the past more than any of the others. For me certain woman stand out above the rest. For example Lisa and I dated for 8 months 6 years ago and even to this day she is still a lingering memory that just won’t go away. Keep in mind I remember my first puppy and my first bike too but this is different. With Lisa maybe I should be grateful for the time we had and the learning experience. I think it was her energy and willingness to do things that makes the memories so vivid and made the break-up so difficult. We were the perfect blend and when she came into my life with that smile and infectious laughter, my world literally changed. It was like we were molded to fit together. Like we belonged together. She taught me how to live again. She taught me how to come out of my shell and what the real meaning of, “You only live once” means. The problem is, the memory of her still haunts me when I hear certain songs or go to places that we went. In fact, don’t say anything but I sometimes tear up when a certain song play and that’s the problem. Other that that, I hardly think about her. Some of you will say I’m still in love but I don’t think that’s true. I do know that she spoiled the perfection we had. She interfered with the natural order of things but was the fault of both of us. And no, I am not resentful or angry with her nor am I blaming her for anything. No, I am not a clinger and I don’t expect the woman I go out with to be like her. If fact, because of us, I stay away from clone versions of her. This is about the music and that’s what bothers me. I love certain music by certain singers and groups but every time I play the few songs we both enjoyed, I think about her. Not in a bad way but you know those thoughts. Like, if we only stayed together we could have done things. Now I, blah, blah, blah, you know what I mean. Am I a romantic? I don’t know. Maybe I’m disappointed because it always takes me a long time to get over things or in this case forget things. My Mom would say “I’m overly sensitive“. Would I take her back? No! I don’t give second chances. I never did and I never will. I would just like to hear the music and songs I like, without thinking about her….Is that asking to much?

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