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Monday, November 28, 2011

"Speaking of Walmart Humor"


"‎Two men talking in the bar: Bob says to Mike, 'My elbow hurts like hell.....
I guess I'd better see a doctor".''Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies. 'There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.
Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs $10 - A lot cheaper than a doctor.
So, Bob deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits $10 and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. 10 seconds later, the computer ejects a print out:
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.
It will improve in 2 weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart'.
That evening,while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter and a sperm sample for good measure.
Bob hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.
He deposits $10, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.(Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bath him with anti-fungal shampoo.(Aisle7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better !
Thank you for shopping @ WalMart.

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